Three Weapons

Hand of God

Since the dawn of human civilization, man has possessed some sophisticated yet possible ideas that shaped the world we live in today. Mankind – through the advances of technology – literally created things to patronize society’s needs and wants. From the first wheel to a lightbulb, from an abacus to a calculator, from an ordinary glider to the first airplane – are some of the famous inventions that up to now man are living with.

Technology is dynamic, so as the planet. There are things man invent to support life and to create life. Medicines to aid people who are sick. Surgeries to extend one’s life. Operations to save someone’s life. All of these are the best examples of what technology can do to us. It benefits us. It nourishes us. And ultimately, it saves us.

But what if... What if in one point in this era, another world war erupts? What if in all the possible things to happen, mass killings will emerge? And all of this happened by the hand, not of God, but of an ordinary people like you? What if the person is ME?

"Nuclear Strike" (4 out of 5 stars)

~ real world weapon

I asked my brother earlier today if what comes into his mind if he suddenly hears the phrase, “Weapons for Mass Destruction”. With no hesitations in mind, he eagerly answered Nuke. Why yes. Nuclear missiles – or simply a Nuke – can wipe out a particular area as soon as it is dropped of by a plane or by detonating it. Throughout history, perhaps the most popular nuclear attack happened back in the days of the World War II where "Little Boy" and "Fat Man" were dropped in Hiroshima and Nagasaki which killed hundred of thousands of people. Not only that, the natives who survived the blast later experienced the terror of radiation. Falling hairs, some organ side effects, are the most common aftermath of a radiation meltdown or outbreak. One may have been able to survive the blast of a nuclear warhead but the side effects, afterwards? It is a different story. Simply put, one shall die in a slow but painful death. 

Man: "We survived the blast! Thank the heavens above! Jesus, thank you. Amen to that. Amen."

Woman: "Well the Geiger Counter tells us a +1k reading in this area.  What does it mean, anyway? Looky here."

Man: "Oh shit... " and runs away..

"G.E.N.E.S.I.S." (5 out of 5 stars)
~ fictional weapon

It's no Genesis. It's Revelations.

Of all the weapons I read and fantasize to have, this particular cannon would be it. As seen first in the anime` Gundam Seed (2004), Gamma Emission by Nuclear Explosion Stimulate Inducing System or simply GENESIS is a superweapon made by the Coordinators (genetically altered humans living in the outer havens of earth, in particular PLANT) to destroy all Naturals (ordinary humans) residing on Earth to end the war. Using gigantic mirrors to harvest and use gamma ray beams, the force of a single fire of illuminating light can obliterate all things on Earth. Like Star War's Deathstar, GENESIS was designed to kill a planet, meaning, leave no one behind. With intense radiation that can permeate solid matter and break it down to molecular structures, this wonderful device can kill a planet in no time.

Genesis 1:3 "And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light.

"Religion" (A shocking 6 out of 5 stars)

~ ah okay... 

 I'm not a religious one. All I can say is that religion is like a virus in the world. Too many religious beliefs. Many do's and so many dont's. They always do things over and over again like, for instance, the Catholic Church. Sit. Stand. Pray. Sit. Stand. Kneel. Stand. Pray. Sit. They're like robots. And what's the essence of having every hour of mass during Sundays? I can't see the point of it. It's very illogical and so upsetting. Why religion is included in this list is simply because of power to command to others with no doubts in their hearts. They look like fools to me. I literally see them like as one of that. Obey what the priest said because it is no other than the word of God, the Creator. Holy macro! *sigh* In the light of this topic, they will be my slaves. "Hey kid, do as I command as God commanded". Pretty easy, huh? Dogmatic perception? It's up to you. Give me some money for tithing because the Holy Scriptures tells about tithing. And so they'll obey me like a cable TV or a cellphone perhaps. All is easy when it comes to religion. LOL.

I once watched an interview of a priest on the TV and it's about the Reproductive Health Bill in the Philippines. He said a verse in the Bible where God said to humans to cherish life and multiply. That's what their faith stands for. But what about him, as an individual -- a practical individual who thinks critically and intelligently -- will he still answer the same?

I chose all these weapons, well, only because they occurred in my mind earlier. I actually wrote about eight of these things but managed to concise it into three. Still, you might wonder why I wrote this. What if I or even you can have this some kind of power to have these things. Will you use them? Of course, that'll be a two-sided case like a coin. But the most important question will be, Why? Why will you do it? For what purpose? Or do you really have a purpose? If you'll ask me, my answer will be another question. Why not?


Thank you for reading, dear reader.

____________________________

(I dunno if this piece of paper mean anything to you or to others. I just wrote what's on my mind today. Sorry if it is not well polished. I really wanted to write. I really do.)

Dreams

Dreams are like, what, like vision of something? A presque vu of things one didn't expect to happen but know will happen in some point in one's life? Hell, yes and a no. I've been dreaming lately. Nightmares. Some scared the shit out of me, leaving me sweating and my eyes teary. There are, about 10% of the time, dreams that occur to me that made me happy, wanting more; even I wanted to just live with that dream and abandon reality. But you know, dreams are like movies we pay and watch. After the show, no matter how great it was or not, everybody leaves. Downside or not, images that flash in our mind whenever we sleep wants to show us something or specifically wants to tell us about things we know, or we wanted to know.

There are instances where inside my head I was, like, I'm in a car driving, or rowing a boat in an unknown river under the sun, or even waiting for a train in a station I don't recognize. Absolutely, I have no idea of what they mean. Yes, I am the dreamer, the owner, and blah-blah. But how should I know? Rather, WHY should I know?

I was flying like him. No glasses, however.

I often visit a website in the internet to decode, somehow, my dreams. What they mean exactly. And what they really trying to make sense. Or is it just a non-sensible scrolls of images in my subconscious. I began tracking my dreams since I first stepped my right foot in the undergrad. (Yes, first the right and then the left.) Once, in my dreamworld, I'm flying like Neo in the Matrix movie. Heck, it was fun. I almost believed after I wake up that I can literally fly. The funny thing is, after the dream, I opened my eyes sleeping not in my bed but on the floor. That is by any means, gravity. What goes up, will always come down. Law of Gravity, baby. What if I really flew up in the air that's why I fell down from my bed? Who knows, right? But I believe I did -- in a literal way or the philosophical way. My side of the two? Either. To be able to fly is a remarkable feat, let alone the enjoyment one can derive from it. Who in this world never wanted to fly like the aerial animals is a total screw up. On the other hand, flying means freedom. That is its philosophical perspective (more of an in-depth analysis for me). And it makes sense, dear john. Transcendence is no joke. Freedom itself is very broad in its context and the ability to have it over the complexity that revolves around it is becoming a demi-god inside, likewise in the outside world. No kidding. I never proved this little theory of mine but why care? Fly like the wind. Embrace it if you must.

There are dozens of dreams one can harvest in a single sleep. Can we account all those short films inside our petty head? I read a book once telling me that he dreamed 43 dreams in a single sleep. 43?! Oh jeez. The most shocking about it is he wrote it in a piece of paper beside his bed. 43 is big number for a 6 hours of rest at the least of it. What more in a full 12-hour sleep? 

In some rare occasion, there are symbols in my dreams. Alphabets, anagrams, numbers, and characters that I tend to categorize as ancient. Gut feel, big daddy. Gut feel. Numbers can mean many things. It may begin with your rank in competition you're into or perhaps your grade in a recent examination you took or will take. Two months ago, we had our first pre-board exam. But before I actually took the test paper and answer all the problems, T-minus two nights, a dream occurred to me that I'll rank number two in one of the subjects. To cut the story short, I didn't make it as rank number two. Instead, I was ranked as ninth. Pretty close but very fulfilling. And with that, I consider numbers important in my dreams. It may mean something, yes. The catch? It's a tricky stuff and very confusing. But once you know their meaning and what they symbolizes for, heads up girl. You're on!

Weird symbol

The symbol that I recently remember is the three letters that I don't what they mean at all. It gives me the creeps whenever I mention them. They simply showed in my subconscious and voila, I can't forget them. Somehow the letters mean something. An acronym maybe? More of an acronym to me. FTL. Born much of curiosity, I looked for its meaning. If it really meant something. There quite a few interpretations for these three.

• Faith, Trust, Love
• Faster Than Light
• For The Lose
• Fuck This Life

My girl friend (not girlfriend) told me the first one above. It made me laughing. Still, it occupied the three letters. What I really wanted to be its meaning, or whatever, is the second one. Faster than light. What is the thing faster than light? I have no idea. Really. All I know and theorize is that if humanity finds the way to break that light barrier, we can reach other worlds, travel through time, and sail an impossible journey. Well that's what I read. Going back to this particular symbol in my dream, I confide to you now that this makes no sense. In a debatable stance to answer the question whether what thing is faster than light? I would still answer and stand for ideas.

Same shit, different day

If dreams are recurring in a manner where there is a continuity (in some case, replay) like a TV series, or a book series, do we consider them as priority one, meaning significant? For instance, imagine in Year 1 you dream riding a bicycle with four wheels. Then in Year 2, same environment, you now riding a two-wheel bicycle. Afterwards, in Year 3, you still riding the two-wheel bicycle but now you're wearing a helmet. And it goes like in the succeeding days, or years, you still dream the same. It's like a loop in the head repeating the same crap over and over again. LOOP. And yes, they will occur over and over again until some thing is finished or attained or simply put, accepted. The question now is what to accept? I read that these recurring dreams are trying to pin-point something. It may vary a little, in a way, not so different from its predecessors. The fact they keep to replay is an indication that they're important. That they wanted to show us something. Wanted to visualize some things we barely set our naked eyes upon. Whatever it is, it's damn important! And from the looks of it, it defines us. A specific problem we should act immediately, a moral value we should have, a personal weakness we should face bravely, or in its simplest sense, a scene that we must battle because we haunt ourselves -- the monster inside of us all.

I remember these past few years. I had a recurring dream of me being in our old house. It is our second house actually. My brother and I have this table-cabinet thingy with two drawers on it. One in the left and one in the right. I was assigned to the drawer being on the right. And to be specific, this drawer of mine has no metal handle like my brother's, so I have to kill some time to open it. I dreamed about this drawer of mine several times in the past. Same thing over and over again. The scene is that I'm trying to open it but it won't budge at all. And then it occurred to me, in my dream (obviously), that I'm trying to recover something there. I don't have a clue what it is. And in all honesty that the furniture was left in that previous house of ours. I'm still curious what it is, though. Still curious until now. 

Dreams can mean anything. It can be interpreted literally or in reverse (like what the elders tell us when we were kids. Yeah right, grandma.), or in some context that your own mind can comprehend. They can occur after watching TV or movie, after listening to some music, after reading a horror book (I am a victim myself under this. Stephen King's works are really scary. Often I dreamed them, I almost had a heart attack), or after having a conversation with someone else, or even someone you just met (Yes, it's you I'm referring to). The moment you close your eyes you now sail through the vastness of your subconscious, your own mind -- the place you keep returning aside from home. The place where mirrors are placed. Mirrors of yourself, your morals, your ego, your strengths, your weaknesses and ultimately, your own home-made demon. You can leave the cruelty of reality but can NEVER leave the realm of your mind.

Dreams are for kids. So they say...so they say.

Muni-muni

Oo, mahirap. Mahirap ang mag-aral ng propesyong ito. Sandamakmak na mga libro, ga-bundok na papel na gamit para sa pag-solve ng mga accounting problems, at nakapapayat na stress -- ay iilan lamang sa mga produkto ng pagpasok sa propesyong ito. Masaya naman kahit mahirap. Sweet torture, ika nga. Kahit magkahalu-halo na ang mga rules na kailangang tandaan, isa-isip, at sa isa-puso, okay pa din. Kaya pa...kaya pa. Apat na taong pakikipag-patintero kay kamatayan nung kolehiyo para di matanggal sa accountancy program tapos ngayon pa susuko? Nakakaasar naman ata yun. *sigh* Para san pa ang pinagsisikapan kong pangarap? Mawawala na lang?

Ang pinakamahirap na exam daw ang Law dahil nga siguro na walang pagpipilian (multiple choice) na mga sagot para sa mga tanong. Sanaysay kasi ang isasagot dun kapag Bar Exam. At isa pa, Korte Suprema ang nangangasiwa sa eksaminasyong yun.

Sa CPA Licensure exam, iba naman. May mga pagpipilian naman kaso kung di maingat ang sasagot, yari siya. May mga pagpipilian kasi na akala mo na yun ang tamang sagot tapos di naman pala. May isa pang sitwasyon na mararamdaman mong "you are torn between two...answers (not lovers)". Yun ang nakakatawa sa lahat. Pero kung alam mo ang konsepto at tanda mo ang rule para sa tanong na yun, simple na lang. Kaso, masyadong maraming RULES sa pag-aaral ng accounting. Sadyang marami.

Pito ang mga subjects na kailangang aralin para makapasa sa CPA Board Exam. Ito ay ang:

• Management Services
• Business Law and Taxation
• Theory of Accounts
• Auditing Theory
• Auditing Problems
• Practical Accounting 1
• Practical Accounting 2

Paborito ko ang Practical Accounting 2. Sa katunayan pag may mga quizzes/exams kami nung kolehiyo pa ako, magaganda ang mga lumalabas na resulta. Minsan ay ako pa nga ang pinakamataas. Pero bonus na sa akin yun. Gusto ko lang talaga yung subject na yun. Mechanical lang kasi at wala masyadong rules na tatandaan. Pero, sige ka, yun ang naturingang killer subject sa pito.

Una akong kumuha ng CPA exam nung isang taon (October 2010). Di ako pumasa. Pero di din naman ako bumagsak. Na-conditioned ako. Ibig sabihin? Kailangan kong kunin ulit ang mga subjects na may grado akong mababa sa 75%. Dalawa ang mga subject na yun sa kaso ko. Practical Accounting 1 at Practical Accounting 2. Yung sa P1, tanggap ko pa. Di ko naman talaga hilig ang subject na yun. Marahil ay dahil na rin sa propesor namin nung kolehiyo ako na akala mo kung sino at halatang hindi alam ang itinuturo.

(...after exam.)Professor : Mga hindi kasi kayo nagbabasa kaya ang baba ng grado niyo.

Ako: Nagbabasa kami. Hindi lang kapareho at kaliteral ng binabasa mo. 

Nadismaya ako ng malaman kung di ko man lang nai-75% ang P2. 63% ang nakuha ko dun at yun ang pinakamababa ko sa pito. Paborito ko pero iniwan ako sa ere. Paborito ko ngunit pinabayaan ako. O kaya naman ako ang nagpabaya? Nakakapanghinayang man, dahil 88% ang pinakamataas ko, kailangan kong mag-aral ulit. Kailangang ipasa na. Kailangang malagpasan na.

Saan na ba ako ngayon? At nasaan na ba sila? Ang mga kaibigan ko na wala pa ata sa sampu, di ko na sila nakikita. Yung isa, nars na. Kapapasa lang. Yung isa, nasa Baguio, may 3DS na. Yung dalawang malapit sa akin, wala kaming komunikasyon. Kinukumusta ko naman pero wala. Zero backlog. Solo akong haharap sa Mayo. Solo lang. Hep, kasama pala ang water jug ko -- ang naturingan kong kasangga, karamay, at kung anu-ano pa.

Gusto kong makita ang mga kaibigan ko para maramdaman ko na may kaibigan ako. Pero kung ayaw, okay lang. Sana lang kung nasan man sila, kung ano man ang ginagawa nila, maabot sana sila ng mensahe ko. Na kahit kailan, kahit saan, kahit iilan lang sila, at kahit ilang tao pa ang makilala ko bukod sa kanila; iniaalay ko ang mga makakamtan ko sa buhay para sa inyo.

Miss ko na kayo...

~BWC

~LAR

~JO

~JPC

~MKT

at kay RDR, na hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin mapagtanto kung ikaw ay talagang aking nakilala o isa ka lamang panaginip. Ang mensahe ko sa'yo ay...isa kang manhid. (Parang sinabihan ko ata ang sarili ko. Tinamaan kasi ako.)

Final pre-board exam. T-minus 60 hours.

Mock P1 and P2 exam....favorable.

Victory is at hand!

May the Father of Understanding guide me.