Dreams

Dreams are like, what, like vision of something? A presque vu of things one didn't expect to happen but know will happen in some point in one's life? Hell, yes and a no. I've been dreaming lately. Nightmares. Some scared the shit out of me, leaving me sweating and my eyes teary. There are, about 10% of the time, dreams that occur to me that made me happy, wanting more; even I wanted to just live with that dream and abandon reality. But you know, dreams are like movies we pay and watch. After the show, no matter how great it was or not, everybody leaves. Downside or not, images that flash in our mind whenever we sleep wants to show us something or specifically wants to tell us about things we know, or we wanted to know.

There are instances where inside my head I was, like, I'm in a car driving, or rowing a boat in an unknown river under the sun, or even waiting for a train in a station I don't recognize. Absolutely, I have no idea of what they mean. Yes, I am the dreamer, the owner, and blah-blah. But how should I know? Rather, WHY should I know?

I was flying like him. No glasses, however.

I often visit a website in the internet to decode, somehow, my dreams. What they mean exactly. And what they really trying to make sense. Or is it just a non-sensible scrolls of images in my subconscious. I began tracking my dreams since I first stepped my right foot in the undergrad. (Yes, first the right and then the left.) Once, in my dreamworld, I'm flying like Neo in the Matrix movie. Heck, it was fun. I almost believed after I wake up that I can literally fly. The funny thing is, after the dream, I opened my eyes sleeping not in my bed but on the floor. That is by any means, gravity. What goes up, will always come down. Law of Gravity, baby. What if I really flew up in the air that's why I fell down from my bed? Who knows, right? But I believe I did -- in a literal way or the philosophical way. My side of the two? Either. To be able to fly is a remarkable feat, let alone the enjoyment one can derive from it. Who in this world never wanted to fly like the aerial animals is a total screw up. On the other hand, flying means freedom. That is its philosophical perspective (more of an in-depth analysis for me). And it makes sense, dear john. Transcendence is no joke. Freedom itself is very broad in its context and the ability to have it over the complexity that revolves around it is becoming a demi-god inside, likewise in the outside world. No kidding. I never proved this little theory of mine but why care? Fly like the wind. Embrace it if you must.

There are dozens of dreams one can harvest in a single sleep. Can we account all those short films inside our petty head? I read a book once telling me that he dreamed 43 dreams in a single sleep. 43?! Oh jeez. The most shocking about it is he wrote it in a piece of paper beside his bed. 43 is big number for a 6 hours of rest at the least of it. What more in a full 12-hour sleep? 

In some rare occasion, there are symbols in my dreams. Alphabets, anagrams, numbers, and characters that I tend to categorize as ancient. Gut feel, big daddy. Gut feel. Numbers can mean many things. It may begin with your rank in competition you're into or perhaps your grade in a recent examination you took or will take. Two months ago, we had our first pre-board exam. But before I actually took the test paper and answer all the problems, T-minus two nights, a dream occurred to me that I'll rank number two in one of the subjects. To cut the story short, I didn't make it as rank number two. Instead, I was ranked as ninth. Pretty close but very fulfilling. And with that, I consider numbers important in my dreams. It may mean something, yes. The catch? It's a tricky stuff and very confusing. But once you know their meaning and what they symbolizes for, heads up girl. You're on!

Weird symbol

The symbol that I recently remember is the three letters that I don't what they mean at all. It gives me the creeps whenever I mention them. They simply showed in my subconscious and voila, I can't forget them. Somehow the letters mean something. An acronym maybe? More of an acronym to me. FTL. Born much of curiosity, I looked for its meaning. If it really meant something. There quite a few interpretations for these three.

• Faith, Trust, Love
• Faster Than Light
• For The Lose
• Fuck This Life

My girl friend (not girlfriend) told me the first one above. It made me laughing. Still, it occupied the three letters. What I really wanted to be its meaning, or whatever, is the second one. Faster than light. What is the thing faster than light? I have no idea. Really. All I know and theorize is that if humanity finds the way to break that light barrier, we can reach other worlds, travel through time, and sail an impossible journey. Well that's what I read. Going back to this particular symbol in my dream, I confide to you now that this makes no sense. In a debatable stance to answer the question whether what thing is faster than light? I would still answer and stand for ideas.

Same shit, different day

If dreams are recurring in a manner where there is a continuity (in some case, replay) like a TV series, or a book series, do we consider them as priority one, meaning significant? For instance, imagine in Year 1 you dream riding a bicycle with four wheels. Then in Year 2, same environment, you now riding a two-wheel bicycle. Afterwards, in Year 3, you still riding the two-wheel bicycle but now you're wearing a helmet. And it goes like in the succeeding days, or years, you still dream the same. It's like a loop in the head repeating the same crap over and over again. LOOP. And yes, they will occur over and over again until some thing is finished or attained or simply put, accepted. The question now is what to accept? I read that these recurring dreams are trying to pin-point something. It may vary a little, in a way, not so different from its predecessors. The fact they keep to replay is an indication that they're important. That they wanted to show us something. Wanted to visualize some things we barely set our naked eyes upon. Whatever it is, it's damn important! And from the looks of it, it defines us. A specific problem we should act immediately, a moral value we should have, a personal weakness we should face bravely, or in its simplest sense, a scene that we must battle because we haunt ourselves -- the monster inside of us all.

I remember these past few years. I had a recurring dream of me being in our old house. It is our second house actually. My brother and I have this table-cabinet thingy with two drawers on it. One in the left and one in the right. I was assigned to the drawer being on the right. And to be specific, this drawer of mine has no metal handle like my brother's, so I have to kill some time to open it. I dreamed about this drawer of mine several times in the past. Same thing over and over again. The scene is that I'm trying to open it but it won't budge at all. And then it occurred to me, in my dream (obviously), that I'm trying to recover something there. I don't have a clue what it is. And in all honesty that the furniture was left in that previous house of ours. I'm still curious what it is, though. Still curious until now. 

Dreams can mean anything. It can be interpreted literally or in reverse (like what the elders tell us when we were kids. Yeah right, grandma.), or in some context that your own mind can comprehend. They can occur after watching TV or movie, after listening to some music, after reading a horror book (I am a victim myself under this. Stephen King's works are really scary. Often I dreamed them, I almost had a heart attack), or after having a conversation with someone else, or even someone you just met (Yes, it's you I'm referring to). The moment you close your eyes you now sail through the vastness of your subconscious, your own mind -- the place you keep returning aside from home. The place where mirrors are placed. Mirrors of yourself, your morals, your ego, your strengths, your weaknesses and ultimately, your own home-made demon. You can leave the cruelty of reality but can NEVER leave the realm of your mind.

Dreams are for kids. So they say...so they say.