Field Report | Etched Words

Failed. 

The road to my own emancipation is nonetheless difficult, abysmal, and uncertain. 

I did not see her yesterday. That's a fact. As early as four in the morning, I knew she wasn't coming. And even though I knew that for certain because of her twitter account, I still went to church and pray. 

It is sad. My heart almost fell from my chest because of excruciating pain. She's not there. She's far away and I cannot accept the fact that she's gone. Gone in my life? No, we never had this...this, that kind of thing. We just clicked like a door lock, and parted with a huge block. And our little romance barely two years ago? Nah, it's now history. 

I know she moved on. Why wouldn't she? I'm just an empty shell, and she knew that. I am a vessel with no core inside. No living thing. No such thing. I feel so, so... empty.

One of my girl friends asked me once, "That girl. Do you really...?"

"Yes." There was silence. 

"Instead of me, huh? Some girl. Who is she?"

"The lady who'll listen to me when I play the piano."

****


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10 comments:

^_^ wReY and R0bbY

That's sad Prof. Maybe it's not yet the right time. So cheer up! Just enjoy singlehood! ^_^


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michymichymoo

That's kinda sad. :( Don't lose hope, dear.

Ile Odarod

why would you call yourself an empty shell??

and there's always next Sunday right?

Nastassia Serrano

I am so sorry. Honestly, I know comforting words isn't much help at all... and I know saying that it'll be okay won't be such a comfort either...

Isn't there anything else you can do? Perhaps send her a letter, a video, anything? There are a lot of ways, just as long as you're confident enough in yourself and in the both of you :)

One thing's for sure - never lose hope.

Goodluck!

dian ajeng maharani

hi dear,
i will listen to you when you play piano, dear!
ooh i know how does it feel, dear... but please dont be sad.. Ile Odarod was right. there's always next sunday. you will meet her someday. my advice, maybe you can text her first, or give her a little gift like chocolate or something, just tell her what you feel. dont call yourself an empty shell. you are awesome, dear. really. she is a lucky girl--being loved by an amazing and romantic man like you.
xoxo

Vallarfax

Yeah, I thought of that, too. Some other time then. :)

Vallarfax

I will not, michy. I will not!

Vallarfax

Thank you for your kind words. I did send her a message. I'm just waiting for her reply and assess the verdict. Too excited but so worried.

Vallarfax

I'm empty. I don't know what can make me happy. No emotions whatsoever.

She'll be having her Sunday church services in Calamba, her hometown, every week.

Vallarfax

Thank you. I can feel your words and reflect them one by one. I managed to contact her. I'm now only waiting for her reply.

You are so sweet. :)

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